


Ceramic

by orphan_account



Series: changkyun and logan [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8336128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this was my first oc/changkyun fic, i wrote it at 5am lol don't judge methere are a fuckton of typos fyi





	

**Author's Note:**

> i hate the rain but i love changkyun :')

Rainy days are a sign of life. Life running through the skies, through the ground. Making plants grow and puddles rise. Rainy days are a sign of happiness, for most.

 _Most_.

On the other hand, rain can be terrifying. Yes, big storms filled with thunder and lightning can knock the living daylights out of everyone, on occasion. But a light drizzle shouldn't cause tears in the eyes of _anyone_. That is, unless said person has a phobia.

Ombrophobia.

Ombrophobia is the scientific term for a fear of rain. Technically the term for an _irrational_ fear of rain, but to someone with this phobia, it doesn't think it's irrational at all.

Everyone hears about big storms, not ones that sweep through, leaving trees knocked over and water in the gutters. No, we're talking ginormous storms, the ones that flood, leaving people without power for days at a time, cars floating in the streets. That's what ombrophobiacs think about every time it starts even spitting. Power outages are the worst part. Every nightmare filled with the horrid feeling of bedrooms flooding, water slowly seeping into the room as the lights flicker out. Only left with the chilling feeling of scrambling around in a pitch dark room, wading through knee deep liquid, until the water level passed said person's height. Flailing and splashing in the darkness, all phone lines down, not being able to decipher between eyes closed and eyes open. Everything was just black, everything was wet.

Horrid, horrid nightmares.

That's how Logan felt like every time it started raining.

/////

Changkyun was out, the band was at a fan meet up. Logan was home, switching between netflix, crave and tumblr constantly. SVU, Lucifer, dashboard, repeat.

He hated not having anyone next to him, no cuddly boyfriend to cuddle while the police dramas progressed. Usually Changkyun was right there, holding the trans boy from the back, spooning peacefully as the crimes were solved. But now, there was no one. No one to tickle, no one to kiss, no one to love. Now Logan was left with pacing around the kitchen of his small apartment to pass the time, making ramen in between shows, eventually giving in to the tub of red velvet ice cream in the freezer.

He say down on the couch, pillows behind him and one on his lap, acting as a tray as he ate the ice cream straight from the tub. Blanket against his navy plaid pyjama bottoms, oversized university hoodie creating sweater paws over his hands. He sat in the corner of the couch, squealing every once in a while, inhaling sharply when Sonny Carisi would appeared on screen. Nothing to do but wait and wait until Changkyun returned from the meet n' greet. Then having to wait even longer until he was aloud out of the dorm to walk the five minutes to Logan's place. It was a long wait.

The day had been pretty usual, woken up at 6:30 by Changkyun's goodbye kisses as he left to return to the dorm before anyone realized he left. Falling back asleep with the thought of his boyfriend, Logan slept until 10 when he pulled himself out of bed, lazily opening his laptop to check tumblr. Wasting the hours away reloading his feed and making text posts, he had checked the time again, 1:27pm. Still fairly early in the grand scheme of things. He nearly rolled off his chair, meandering around until he found his phone. Speed dialling (1), a dial tone sounded against his ear, he paced around patiently until he was met with another man's voice.

"Hey, Logie" the other voice sang, sounding happy with the phone call.

"Hi~" Logan hummed contently, simply happy with the soothing sound of his boyfriend's voice far too much to remember why he called.

"How'ya doing?" Changkyun asked, stepping away from the roaring crowd.

"Eh, okay, just avidly reloading tumblr, snoozing, the uge"

"Sounds fun" Changkyun found a quiet corner backstage, setting his back down against the wall as he sat.

"It is, kinda, I'm just a little bored without classes.... and you" Logan bit his lip at his words, wondering if it was an appropriate thing to say when Changkyun was _meters_ away from nearly a thousand monbebes.

"I miss you too" The rapper cooed, smiling against his phone's receiver. "I'm sorry I can't be there, or you can't be here"

"It's not your fault, Kyunnie, what would I do if I were there anyway? It's not like I could sign autographs with you, I'm just a university student, not an idol like you"

"I know, but at least you would be here, in the building, not an hour and a half drive away"

"It's fine really, I've already resorted to cuddling pillows" Logan pouted jokingly, though Changkyun couldn't see his face, he could sense it in his voice.

"Aww, honey, do you miss me that much?" Changkyun pulled a cute, pitied smile. "I just saw you this morning"

"Yeah boy that was seven hours ago, it's my _one_ day off from classes this week and I have to spend it alone"

"You could always go out, shopping or what not. Or you could drive out here, snag a ticket to the meet n' greet and see me in person" Changkyun laughed, thinking how surprising it would be to have Logan walk up to the signing booth.

"Are you forgetting I don't have a car?" Logan pointed out. "And I don't want to go out, shopping or otherwise, too many crowds, and I don't want to have a shower"

"Logaaann~" Changkyun huffed, still baffled by his boyfriend's lazyness. "It's just a shower"

"C'mon, you know it takes an hour for my hair to dry, and my social anxiety would rip me apart if I went anywhere alone"

"Yeah, yeah" He nodded into the call, hearing his name being called by a manager. "Hey, look, they're calling me back, I'll see you tonight once they let me out of the dorm... and Logan"

"Yeah"

"Make sure you eat something, you're not starving yourself anymore, not while I'm away" Changkyun said sternly, not wanting the Canadian to feel like he had to maintain his figure with starvation.

"Fine, I'll make some ramen later" Logan found himself in the kitchen, opening and closing the cupboards on the hunt for instant ramen.

"Good, gotta go now, love you, mmmwa"

"Love you too, Kyunnie" Logan sang, feeling lonely when the call ended.

He returned to his laptop, thinking realistically and deciding to finish up a paper, some astrophysics thing that he'd have to hand in the following week. Grudgingly, Logan opened up a new tab, googling the first topic, perpetual motion in zero gravity environments. He let the web page load while to stood up, walking to the kitchen to brew a cup of tea. Tetley, orange pico, he set out his favourite mug, a white one with the Law & Order logo on it. It was his mom's, given to him before he moved to Korea on full scholarship. He shuffled to the spice cabinet, dancing his fingers around until they clasped a small shaker of cinnamon. He put it down next to the mug, humming some kpop song as the kettle began to whistle.

Minutes later, he wrapped his hands around the hot ceramic, stirring in the cinnamon into the fragrant tea. He nearly tossed the spoon into the sink, leaving the cinnamon out on the counter. He. Walked hesitantly back to the couch where his computer sat waiting on a leather lap desk. Logan, sat down on the couch next to it, taking a long sip of the warm beverage before slipping a Dalhousie School of Law coaster under the mug. Picking up the lap desk, he toggled the trackpad, lightly tapping the home row of keys before whispering to himself.

"Perpetual motion, here I come"

/////

Now 6pm, Logan had two and a half pages of research done. it was meant to be a short five page essay, not nearly enough pages to properly explain the concept he'd been assigned, but enough to get the information across. Deciding he'd finish it another day, he saved his word document again, bookmarking, then closing his chrome tabs. He yawned, feeling tuckered out from staring at the screen so long. 

He stretched his arms back, feeling the tight fabric of his binder shift awkwardly as his chest puffed out. He didn't even know why he was wearing it, it was his day off, his hoodie wasn't necessarily tight in order to outline the raise in his chest. It was just constricting now, he took his hoodie off one arm at a time while strolling back to his bedroom, tossing it on the bed as he took his binder off, leaving it in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Feeling very uncomfortable shirtless, he quickly threw his hoodie back on, shoving the cuffs past his hands, forming his ever-so-loved 'sweater paws'. Logan smiled contently, closing his eyes as the soft fabric shifted against his cool skin.

He almost jogged back to his laptop, swinging over the couch's arm before sitting himself, once more, in front of his laptop. He grabbed a red knit, fluff lined blanket, flying it over his lap and placing the lap desk on top. He shuffled his fingers on the trackpad, hovering back and forth over the netflix icon and the crave icon. 

"SVU or Lucifer, SVU or Lucifer" He repeated quietly to himself, making a split second decision and selecting the orange C. Crave it was, good thing he's re-routed his IP through Canada. Peacefully thanking his Dad for teaching him how to do it at the age of 13.

Logan sat back, smiling wickedly as the episode started, humming excitedly when he was met with the soothing sound of Tom Ellis's British accent. He sat back, stretching his legs out as the program played.

/////

And that's where he was now. Except this time he was on the most recent episode of Special Victims Unit. Season 23 was really lovely. Elisa Carisi-Barba had just turned five years old, her dads still tackling the bad guys in every plot. Olivia had _finally_ got back together with Tucker, they were planned to get married three weeks from now. Amanda had convinced Nick to come back to New York. He was a kickboxing coach at one of the city's top gyms. The story line had really evened out. No stupid death threats or fights. No big character deaths or boring story lines. Ever since Locke had become the lead director, the fans had almost doubled, the revenue was great. No actors leaving for indie films, no oppression of LGBTQ+ characters. The show was happy, dark and thrilling, but still happy.

Everything was fine, it was turning out to be quite a nice evening. 8pm rolled around and the sun had pretty much set, leaving Logan's face lit up with the light of his computer screen. Today's mugs and bowls set down on the coffee table. It had ended up not being a total waste of a day. Logan had caught up on Lucifer, gotten over half a research report done, had a nice phone call with Changkyun, messaged a bit with Locke and some other old friends. They skyped about what was new. More directing job offerings for Locke along with some writing gigs on small indie movies. Of course they'd turned them all down, wanting to put all their effort towards SVU. Logan chatted about Changkyun, showing Locke pictures of the cute maknae. They had to cut the call short due to filming schedules, but it was nice to catch up.

Changkyun had texted saying he'd be back at the dorm in 10 minutes, meaning he'd be at Logan's apartment only 20 minutes off. It was nice to know that he wanted to see Logan again. He was probably wrecked from the meet n' greet. He probably had to do some performances too, you never knew what could happen at one of those. He was most definitely tired at least. It would be so easy to just call it a night and stay at the dorm. It was honestly the smarter idea, but Changkyun insisted, saying he didn't want Logan to be falling asleep alone on his day off. So he reminded Logan to leave the door unlocked so he could get in, he didn't have a key yet. See, it was a new apartment, Logan had only moved in there a month and a half ago, when he shifted from living on campus, to living off. Logan barely had the time to be keeping track of his own keys, let alone getting one made for Changkyun. Having to go through all the paperwork with his landlord to allow a copy of the key to be made didn't sound that exciting when he had a double major and a pending master's degree to work for.

So Changkyun had simply asked for the door to be left unlocked. It was rounding off to he a great night until a text came in on Logan's phone.

**[changkyunnie]: hey, there's really bad traffic getting home. don't think i'll be able to drop by the apartment tonight. sorry, i can repay your for it in cuddles when i visit again. love you, ttyl**

A sad pout grew on Logan's face. It was going to be the perfect night. They'd tell each other about their days, maybe over a game of shadows or memoir 44. Changkyun wasn't really that good at either, but he had fun playing. They'd order Chinese takeout and watch a movie. Cuddling while enjoying whatever cheesy rom-com Logan picked out, complete with Korean subtitles for Changkyun.

His English was getting better, dating a Canadian and all. Logan's Korean had improved, going to a Korean university. All his classes were in English, of course, but he knew enough to get around campus. But for sure, Changkyun's English was better than Logan's Korean, so they met half way. English movie, Korean subtitles.

Who knows, they'd probably end up not caring about the movie anymore, taking turns pinning the other one down on the couch and making out lovingly. Maybe they'd even get lucky, moving to makeout session to Logan's room, where things would really heat up.

With tourdates, fan meetups, recording sessions, dance practices, MV shoots _and_ Logan's classes, they barely had any intimate time together. Once in a while, they'd spend the night together or find a window of time when both of them were free, often between afternoon lectures. They'd meet at the coffee shop on campus, quickly deciding to go to the dorm or Logan's apartment and fuck sloppy and fast before his the student's next class. It wasn't what either of them would have planned. If they could choose they'd spend every night together, snuggling, cuddling, maybe having passionate sex once in a while. But Logan's fluctuating sexuality ruled their sex life. Going through phases of grey and asexuality where they wouldn't have sex for weeks at a time. But that would wear off, leaving the good old, polysexual Logan in the arms (or rather, bed) of Changkyun.

But now, there was no way that was going to happen. No cuddling, no board games, no takeout, no rom-coms, no kissing, no _sex_. If Changkyun wasn't there, Logan had nothing to do but put in a bag of microwave popcorn and scroll mindlessly through tumblr. He wouldn't even get himself off. Not able to even feel horny without Changkyun with (or rather, on top of) him. He's just had to wait it out, deal with hours of planning just to see Changkyun again.

Logan huffed, not bothering to text back, bringing the bowls, mugs and glasses he'd left around the apartment to the kitchen to inevitably hand wash them the next day. He was just about to put the last bowl in the sink when the first lightning strike hit.

The loud sounds of rain beginning to sound from outside. Logan froze. A rainstorm, no it couldn't be a rain storm. No. Not now, not when his day had already been screwed up enough. And now, he'd have to spend the storm.... alone. Without Changkyun.... without anyone. No this couldnt be happening. He'd only spent one storm alone in Korea, 6 months ago when he'd locked himself in the chemistry lab. Hiding in the corner as beakers and tanks alike shattered as the room shook with thunder. Leaving to room filled with chemicals and gasses. Logan could still remember sobbing, backpack between his knees as the power went out. 

God, it was a terrible memory. But he's never spent another rainstorm alone after that. Whenever there was a rain warning, Logan would be picked up by Changkyun and taken to the dorm where they'd wait it out together in the sound proof basement. But now, Changkyun couldn't meet Logan. He couldn't just run away from the dorm to save his boyfriend from the downpour. And Logan wouldn't even leave his apartment now, not when it had already started raining. He was trapped. Trapped in his mind as he began to rush around desperately looking for his phone to text Changkyun. He tore the couch apart, knocking over the coffee table in the process. He knew he'd left it somewhere on the cushions. He heard a soft thud as the floral cased phone dropped to the floor. He picked it up quickly, fingers trembling as he put in the passcode. Swiping away tumblr alerts, he tapped the Kakao chat app, opening his chat with Changkyun.

[logie]: changkyun the rain its so loud i alone and i dont know what to do please i dont want to do this

He typed out quickly, thumbs shaking against the keyboard. He was _this_ close to pressing send when the screen went black. A small loading symbol darting around the screen.

Dead.

His phone had died.

Shouting loudly, "No. No, no, no, no. Please, no" Logan broke out into sobs as rain beat down hard on the apartment building. Started to feel tears roll down his cheeks. Thunder cracked loudly as he began to panic even more, running to the kitchen to grab the landline phone. He'd have to get it quick before the..... power..... went..... out.

As Logan reached for the handset, he heard the low hum of every appliance shutting down. The lights began to flicker, dimming quickly before going out, leaving the apartment in complete darkness.

Logan began to hyperventilate. It was dark and raining. He was alone and worried. He froze in place, feeling around for the counter to brace himself against.

CRACK.

A flash of lighting swept through the apartment, leaving it momentarily bright as the shockwave passed. Logan screamed, flailing as losing his firm hold on the counter and falling to the floor, bringing a ceramic bowl down with him.

CRASH.

The bowl hit the floor in an instant, it reached the tile before Logan did, he set his hands down to break the fall, ramming the soft pads of him palms into the shards of broken ceramic.

He shrieked again, pulling a large shard out of his hand. The wound began to gush blood. His cried and cried as more rain poured down on the city. He was left in the dark, literally, leaning against the wall, constantly rubbing his hand's over his clothes, trying, and failing, to stop the bleeding. He had effectively bloodied his favourite hoodie, wrist and hands dripping with the thick liquid as the skies opened up even more.

Another crack. The room lit up again, giving Logan a momentary view of his bloody clothes, hand and floor. He shrieked, feeling the pain in both his hands and face now, holding fingers up to realize his cheek had been sliced. He wasn't sure how, probably when he covered his head in his hands when the the strike sounded. 

He cried and sobbed, unable to hear himself over the sound of rain and thunder. He began to shake, whimpering though tears as all his worst fears came back to him.

All the nightmares about rain and the problems it caused were all coming true. He hid his face in his knees, pulling them close to his chest and staring down at the dark floor. He began to hear banging at the door. Loud, banging, like someone was trying to break in.

Logan cried louder, unable to tell if he was feeling pain from his headache, gashes, or cuts.

The banging continued.

BANG.

BANG.

BANG.

Logan didn't dare to look up. His ears filled with noises of rain, thunder, him sobbing, his ears ringing and now the sound of something throwing itself against his apartment door.

BANG.

BANG.

CRASH.

The door came down with a loud thud, someone burst in through the doorway. Logan whimpered quietly now, hoping they wouldn't find him blood covered and crying in the kitchen. Hoping they'd realize they'd broken into the wrong apartment and leave without a trace.

Logan rocked back and forth, still whimpering quietly, feeling the warm run off blood against his skin again. He trapped his head in the crook of his arm, hiding his eyes in the fabric of his hoodie. He sat there, on his kitchen floor, surrounded my shards of ceramic, bleeding, crying.... until he felt someone tug at his shoulder.

"Logan..." They whispered. "Logan, it's me"

He refused to look up, thinking this was some kind of cruel trick his mind was playing on him.

"Logan, it's me, Changkyun, look at me, it's gonna be okay"

Logan heard their voice, then the sound of ceramic scraping the floor as they cleared a spot for them to sit next to him. They wrapped their arms around his shaking, whimpering form. Rocking him in their arms until he stopped crying.

"Logan, please, it's me. Look at me"

Logan turned his head slowly, looking straight at where the voice came from, but he saw nothing. It was pitch black. He could feel someone's arms around him, he could feel their chest heaving next to his. He knew someone was there but it was too dark to make out a face.

Lightning cracked again, leaving the room in a white haze for a second. The light lit up the person's face. Their features quickly registering with Logan.

Changkyun, it was Changkyun. His mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Changkyun had rammed himself against the door until it broke down, he'd found Logan, on the floor of his kitchen, surrounded by the remnants of a broken bowl.

Logan dug his head into Changkyun's shoulder, forgetting that his face was still bleeding. He cried against the materiel of his shirt, feeling it was wet. He couldn't tell if it was rain, his tears, or his blood.

"Shhh, sweetie, I have you, it'll be okay" Changkyun cooed, rubbing a hand up and down the Canadian's back.

All of a sudden, the loud sounds of rain against the windows lessened. Logan held his head out of Changkyun's shoulder, looking around to no use because the lights were still out. But just like that, the clinking and blinking of appliances turning on replaced Logan's cries. Light filled the room once more.

Logan looked down at the floor, he was surrounded my white shards, some partially red with blood. There was a small pool of the thick red liquid beside his knee, absorbing into the fabric of his pyjama pants. He looked up, meeting Changkyun's eyes. He was drenched in rain water, a red stain forming on the white cotton of his dress shirt. His hair was down in a sopping fringe.

Logan heard a loud gasp upon making eye contact with the rapper.

"Logan!! You're bleeding!!" He shouted, he stood up swiftly, returning to Logan's side in an instant with paper towel. He pressed it hard against the other's cheek where a thin red line dripped with blood.

Logan nodded, still in shock from the storm, power outage, and sudden visitor.

"Are you okay? You're not bleeding anywhere else?" Changkyun sounded utterly concerned, looking around the rest of his boyfriend's face for cuts.

Logan didn't speak, but lifted his hands to Changkyun's view with a neutral expression.

"Oh my god" He began retrieving more paper towel from the counter above him. "Logan, I'm so sorry"

He pressed the paper against Logan's hand, holding on tightly to keep it in place. He kept pressure on his facial gash, muttering questions and apologies.

"I... I don't... It's..." Logan tried to construct a sentence, failing miserably as Changkyun removed the towel from his no-longer-bleeding face.

"Shh, baby boy..." Changkyun whispered keeping a firm hold on Logan's injured hand while hugging him tightly with the other. "Don't speak. It's okay now, I'm here"

He held Logan like that, for long minutes, feeling the elder's chest rise and fall archaically, beginning to whimper every once in a while. Changkyun was so comforting. He was just the goofy maknae to the rest of the group, the rest of the _world_. But he'd opened up to Logan in the five months they'd been dating. He was a home, he was someone to trust, to take care of Logan, as he was exhibiting now.

Logan rocked against his chest, tears drying on his cheeks as he calmed down.

"I'm... I'm sorry I made y-you run over here in the... in the r-rain"

"No, no, honey" Changkyun began to rub Logan's back again. "You didn't make me. I ran here myself, It started raining and I knew you were alone. I didn't want you to have to be alone during a storm. I never want you to be alone during a storm ever again"

Logan hummed, digging his head back into Changkyun's shoulder.

"If anyone should be sorry, it should be me. I didn't _want_ to break down your door, but I knew I needed to get in"

Logan looked over to the doorway, shaking his head as he spoke.

"How bad is it?"

"Uh, busted hinges, I think. It'll lock with the chain lock if we just replace the hinges. But I doubt you hav--"

"They're in the hall closet" Logan spoke quietly, holding Changkyun close to his body.

"Why do you have...?" Changkyun began the question, stoping shortly after opening his mouth. "Y'know what, I'm not even gonna ask"

Logan smiled, he didn't even know why he had door hinges in his closet. They'd probably been old ones left there by the previous owner.

"How about you go draw a bath and I'll get the door back on it's hinges, okay?" Changkyun lifted Logan's face, smiling cutely as they regained eye contact.

"That sounds nice" Logan hummed. "There are tools in the closet as well, big orange box, can't miss it"

"That's wonderful, Logan, you're a genius. No wonder you're majoring in astrophysics!" Changkyun hugged Logan tightly, letting go of his hand, because it was no longer bleeding.

They both stood up after a short kiss. Logan made his way to the bathroom and Changkyun to the closet. Logan laughed to himself, his impeding astrophysics degree had nothing to do with having repair tools in his closet, but it was still funny how Changkyun had said he was a genius.

Logan set the water temperature that way he wanted, stepping on the tub's plug as the bath began to fill. He made sure to add more bubble bath than necessary, stripping himself of his clothes slowly. He removed his flannel bottoms, leaving them to soak in the sink along with his blood-stained hoodie. Logan was now left awkwardly in his bathroom, naked, feminine features showing in the mirror.

Logan cringed, hating the birth-gendered parts of him, he stepped into the warm bath, letting the bubbles cover his female chest. He was left with the sight of bubbles and his toes as he was too tall to fit his _entire_ body in the bathtub. He sat back, enjoying nothing but the sound of bubbles popping and water sloshing around in the hot tub.

Far off, he could hear the sounds of tools clinking, metal on metal as Changkyun repaired the door. It was an easy fix, but Logan was still proud of his boyfriend for doing it. He was brought back into reality as the sting of his gashes began to intensify with the bubbling chemical. He muffled his cries by biting hard against his lip, not wanting Changkyun to worry about him any longer.

He closed his eyes and began to think of things to calm him down.

Daisies.

Cookies baking.

Hardcover books.

Pens clicking.

Long hugs.

Warm blankets.

Etc.

/////

Ten minutes later, there was knock at the bathroom door.

"Logan..." Changkyun's voice ranged in as the door creaked open a bit.

"...Yes"

"I fixed the door, are you still okay?" He asked hesitantly, still not entering the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine now" Logan reassured, playing around with the water that splashed in the tub. "You can come in y'know"

Changkyun laughed, opening and closing the door behind him, smiling at the sight of his boyfriend, calm in the bath. He began to undress, bloodied dress shirt first. He undid the buttons slowly, not looking at Logan, but concentrating in getting his clothes off. He set his shirt down in the sink, submerging it in the cold water next to Logan's clothes. He stepped out of his jeans, resting them on the toilet seat. He then slipped off and stepped out of his boxer briefs. Logan took at a sharp breath in. It's not like he hasn't seen Changkyun naked before. But still, every time he does, it feels like their first time all over again. All nervous but exciting.

Changkyun stepped to the edge of the tub, motioning for Logan to shuffle forward. Logan moved further towards the shower head, knees bending as he ran out of space for his long legs. Changkyun sat down in the tub behind him, legs on either side of the taller boy. He pulled Logan back against his chest, letting his head rest against his sternum.

Logan closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling his chest rise and fall as his lungs filled with air. The elder began to run his fingers through Logan's short, wavy locks, the Canadian humming in approval as he did so.

The couple rested like that, Logan against Changkyun's chest as they calmed down after the eventful evening. Their silence was broken by Logan finally speaking.

"Thank you, by the way" He spoke, voice becoming laced with tiredness. "I don't know what I would have done without you tonight"

"Don't worry about it. I knew I needed to be here for you no matter the consequences" Changkyun kisses the top of Logan's head.

"Consequences?" Logan asked, turning to face his boyfriend.

"Yeahhh... Um, we passed your building on the way back from the meetup and I begged to get out. Jooheon only set me leave if I did all the cooking at the dorm for the rest of the week" 

"Ugh~ Changkyun" Logan laughed, rolling his eyes jokingly. "Only you would beg to run out of the car hah"

"Run? Oh no, sweetheart. The driver slowed down and I freaking rolled out of that car, double O style" Changkyun chuckled, finger guns springing out of the water.

"Whatever" Logan began, giggles seizing as he began to speak again. "Thank you, anyway. For putting up with my stupid fear" 

Changkyun pouted, how could Logan want to _thank_ him for that. It was Logan's _fear_ , not something that he should have to apologize for.

"No, no it's not a stupid fear" he nuzzled his nose into Logan's hair. "It's your phobia, I don't understand it but I respect it fully. I want to be here for you. I never want you to spend a storm alone again"

Logan rubbed his head back against Changkyun's chest.

"Regardless, thank you"

Changkyun hummed in acknowledgment, kissing over the younger's scalp once more.

/////

"Kyunnie~"

"Yeah, honey?" Changkyun looked down at Logan, who was still on rested against his chest.

"I'm getting sleepy" He lolled his head to the side, looking over at the door. "I'm gonna get out and find new pyjamas, but uh, my hoodie's all bloody now... could I borrow one of yours?"

Changkyun released his hands from Logan's body, letting him stand.

"Of course, Logie" He smiled, using his favourite nickname for his boyfriend. "I think one of my sweatshirts is in the bottom drawer of your dresser. It's big on me so it should fit you"

Logan turned to kiss him, lips sliding mindlessly against each other's before the younger stepped out of the bath. He paced around the washroom, turning around to grab a towel, he heard Changkyun's voice.

"You're so beautiful" He cooed, referring to Logan's naked form.

"Thank you, Changkyun" He dipped down to his level to place a kiss on his forehead. "But you know I hate my body"

"But I don't..."

"That's because you're attracted to girls" Logan offered, beginning to step out of the room.

"Hey, hey, I'm attracted to you" he spoke, reaching out to take Logan's hand. "And if you were a girl at one time, okay. But you're a guy now. You are such a handsome guy that you look great, even with you're female body, okay? I want you to know that"

"Aww, Kyunnie~" Logan sang, a happy smile playing on his face. "Thank you, I'll be in my room ready to cuddle when you get there"

Logan released Changkyun's hand, leaving the room with a towel wrapped around his body. Changkyun smiled to himself. He had a beautiful trans boyfriend and all the love in the world

/////

Logan laid in his soft bed. His reading glasses already set aside on his nightstand as he heard the bathtub begin to drain. He was exhausted. Absolutely _exhausted._

After the storm, panic attack, broken door, broken bowl, and Changkyun _breaking_ into his apartment, Logan was wrecked. He just wanted to fall asleep. He wanted to doze off, all warm and comfy, and prepare for the next day of classes. Going to university abroad was hard work. The language barrier and tough classes were hard enough when you weren't battling crippling anxiety.

Logan snuggled against the blankets, wishing Changkyun would god damn get in the bed already. His eyes began to flutter shut, about to fall asleep before the door creaked open. Without a sound, Changkyun slipped into his side of the bed, right, before wrapping his arms around Logan's waist. He pressed their bodies together, Logan's back slotting perfectly against Changkyun's front.

Changkyun began to lift up the front of Logan's (or rather, his own) sweatshirt. He rubbed small circles into the soft skin above Logan's underwear line. Logan was a guy, on t-shots, he had muscle mass, sure, but he'd never be able to have 'male' abs. Even t-shots wouldn't do enough. His settled for having a soft tummy, toned slightly, but soft. It was cute, Changkyun thought. He continued to rub circles into the skin while he started to kiss the back of Logan's neck.

No words were exchanged between the two. Only the occasional sigh as the couple began to drift off. Changkyun's kisses became lazy, lips brushing against the nape of Logan's hairline. They continued to cuddle, spooning peacefully under the duvet.

It was nice, no rain, no broken bowls, no panic attacks, nothing. Just them left alone together, in the dark, cuddling the night away as they both fell into dreams.

Logan might have a lot of problems, but Changkyun makes them feel less severe. And Changkyun might have a lot of sass, but Logan made him more sentimental. They fir together. Like they were meant to be. Cheesy, but true. Logan had a damn cute rapper sweetheart and Changkyun had a frickin adorable trans boyfriend. They fit.


End file.
